Friday, September 15, 2006

The Show Must Go on...

And by that I mean get that fucking FREAKSHOW Joe off my goddamned couch. Here is a guy who two weeks later is STILL complaining how he got "violated". I'm thinking at this point he should have considered himself lucky because if it wasn't for date rape, he'd never get laid.


Have you ever SEEN a midget in tighty-whiteys? I don't even know how to spell whiteys. I'm not even going to check. All I know is I am offended by it. I'm sitting there with my laptop, TRYING to help Spanks out by writing stuff for her blog and Joe keeps suggesting "stories". And you want to know what his voice sounds like? Like someone sucked down a entire fucking cannister of helium.

Oh and can I just mention about the "fecal incontinence" Joe has been experiencing since the incident? I don't even know why I put fecal incontinence in quotes. Because it is what it is. So those tighty-whiteys have skidmarks you can see from the outside and it's in my face everytime he has to pass me to get back on the fucking couch. WHICH, I attempted to Scotchguard heavily yesterday when T took Freakshow to his follow up appointment.

Did I mention the fecal incontinence? Did I mention I HAVE A MIDGET ON MY COUCH WHO IS SHITTING HIMSELF?

And let me tell you something about fucking SCOTCHGUARD. No where on the can does it say it say that more is not better. So what do they come home to? Me sitting on the floor Googling "Scotchguard Dangers" in the middle of a smoke filled living room with a fan blowing smoke out the window and me CRANKING Randy Newman's "Short People". Yea, they both looked a little uncomfortable when I saw them through the smoke. And T is all like, ' why do you Google "scotchgaurd dangers" AFTER you set fire to the cushions?" and suggests that perhaps smoking a joint while scotchguarding is a BAD idea. (and when I googled it I found out it supposedly causes liver damage. So when my liver shits the bed I'm not going to know if I should sue the Moose-Taint distillery or 3M. Great).

So I just turned the fucking cushions over. That's why they have two sides . Right? Right. I should have just went to the fucking dollar store and got a tarp and put it on the couch.

T says the only thing that can fix this badass mood of mine is his patented "attitude adjustment". He's calls it an adjustment.....I call it a grudge fuck. Either way it works.


End rant.

17 comments:

ApacheRose said...

OK, that's it. I have finally met the one woman on the planet I'm willing to go (temporarily) lesbian for.

Zanna, I think I love you. And you crack me the hell up.

Italian Stallion said...

Wow, that's the fattest fucking midget I've ever seen! Stop feeding the Ewok so much and maybe he'll stop shitting the couch...............

Maybe now he can get a Job holding footballs for the Cleveland "Browns".......

Dragulf said...

Violator 1 Joe 1 couch 0

walrus gumboot said...

Plastisize... until he leaves.

TrannyGranny said...

Say, Walrus, left a little something for you on the Fish. Comment 47 on the lesbian biel thread.

barbado slim said...

HOLY-FUCKING-SHIT!!!!!!!!

I'M FUCKING CRYING!!!

NOT WISE TO TROLL TRANNYGRANNY!!!

DUH!!!!

HE IS WAY TOO SHARP!!!

BEEN AROUND TOO LONG!!

HAS TOO MANY FRIENDS!!!

HAS A LOT OF PULL!!!

YOU GOT BUSTED!!!!

URL SITEMETER!!!

BRILLIANT!!!

ONCE AGAIN-- DUH!!!

WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!!

WAIT, YOU WEREN'T THINKING!!!

FUCKING IDIOT!!!

angry-ferret-jones said...

He tried to troll you on your own fucking web-site? Is he the stupidest mother-fucker on the face of the earth or what?

Richport said...

Maybe he should change his name from ImSuicidal to ImaFuckingRetard
Just a suggestion.

Zanna said...

I want to give a big hearty shout out and thank you to Walrus! Thanks to you, I WILL be grudge fucked to death tonight. Someone tell my mother I love her. My valuables are in a disposable gladware container buried under the corndog trailer. It was a pleasure knowing you all, as I will die happy. Have a candlelight vigil for me at this time tomorrow night. I'd love to stay and chat, but I have to go start my stretching exercises now. YAY!

apacherose said...

So, is walrus/imsuicidal (which apparently, he is) the ONLY troll (clear back to a few months ago), or just the one dogging Tranny? Is it safe to go back to the 'Fish? Jesus, I had to change screennames because of that shit.

evil bunny said...

hey, everybody--
i've never posted here, as y'all are WAY over my head, but i do love the site, and i thank all the powers that be that this asinine troll has met more that his match.
i think it's safe to say we ALL back you up, tranny.
oh, and don't be TOO hard on zanna, we need her over at 'spanks!
i shall be toasting you both, all weekend. cheap rum and frozen corndogs. yay.

Dragulf said...

You have been Violated, girly man! - Spawn

Damn but I love that movie.

Every time you fart a devil get his horns (or something.)

I guess by avoiding the Fish I am not caught up on whats up with the Walrus (fitting name?) It looks like he was posting as Tranny. Personally I'd never post as anyone but myself as one of me is enough.

Suicidal, I think you are a funny commenter usually. Don't be an asshole. Isn't it Friday anyways? ;p

LadyJane said...

BigJim is back in town...

Stallion said...

Nice, he's one fucking funny Canadian...........

RichPort said...

FYI - I have never posted here before, but I have read it the past. Entertaining blog. However, I did not post @ 6:50pm because, again, I have never posted here before. Which is all the better since it wasn't even remotely, possibly, MAYBE, close to funny. Now I am sure of it: ImSucidal is the Iambananas guy. No fucking question.

Tranny, good job. As I've said before, I do love a good kumite. After reading that Fish reaming, I've decided to light a joint in your honor. Kudos, but fuck you for taking my attention away from the Biel-tongue-swaddlethon. I'll have fun de-tusking your walrus friend. Mondays are usually slow anyway. I say post the fucking IP. Fuck that. And the MAC. I'm sure if you cross reference both against the billing address, it'll lead to some senior citizen woman whose 45 year old son still lives in the basement, masturbating in his own feces…

Lumpy Sludge said...

Damn, this site IS out there!
If I was you, I'd kick his vienna sausage finger having ass out.
He can't even clap his hands over his head.
I had a dude living with me like that, only he was full size.
Imagine the smells permeating from him.

P.S. Zanna, you look "damn sexy".

pinky_nip said...

Just got back from a long weekend of committing sins, read my emails, etc., about your asshole troll and I just wanted to say I always have Tranny & Zanna's back!

In fact, I work best on my back, so I guess that's how it works?