Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Moose Taint Theatre Presents.....The Facts of Joe

As you may already know, in Moose-Taint County we like our midgets short, our corndogs fresh and our video footage direct from the source, rather than waiting for CNN-(M.T. County Special Disclaimer Edition) to put it up on the telly. That is where good ol' Aunt Sylvia came in.

She thought about getting the un-sensationalized video footage of Freakshow Joe's heroic tribute to Steve Irwin for as long as it took her to down a 40 of Old E, and a half pint of Winner's Cup Vodka. Then, she pulled out her teeth and went to visit our local special outreach CNN-(M.T. C. D. E.) cameraman, who was on loan from our slightly larger sister-county, Buffalo Nacho Parish. Septic-Foot Sam, as he is known in these parts ,videos all the special events, and Sylvia wanted answers. I never did learn the whole story of exactly how my saintly Aunt got her claws on this tape, but I do know she wasn't seen without mouthwash for a week, and Sam managed to look simultaneously horrified and happy at the same time.

So, with no further ado, fresh news without spin....May those fuckholes at Fox News take a lesson in objective reporting.

The Field Marshall of the Extravaganza was beside himself after reliving the awful footage. Out of his own pocket, he is flying in the best proctologist money can buy, from San Fransisco no less, to attend to poor Joe when he is finally coma-free.

Though, why a small city like San Fransisco has a world-renowned proctologist is beyond me. Zanna and I are just relieved that with incredible medical expertise such as this, Freakshow is sure to be fine.

30 comments:

TrannyGranny said...

Damn this new server! The video will be up shortly, sorry folks!

Dragulf said...

Aren't they all proctologists in San Francisco?

SF Proctologist said...

Tranny you are one FUNNY motherfucker! I love you guys!

ApacheRose said...

Aaahahahahahahahahaaa....

Holy shit, I needed that laugh this morning.

By the way, this "beta" version sucks. I know, not your fault, I'm just sayin'...

lady fucking jane said...

Is that bull somehow confused about the sexual orientation of said little person????

Anonymous said...

Fucking brilliant!

cock-ninja said...

Zanna,

you guys get my E-mail?

Zanna said...

yes, we did..thank you! We wrote back....

Anonymous said...

hard as hell to post here. what is this, illuminati security?

Anonymous said...

No, I stupidly switched it to beta and it's called beta for a reason..to work out all the bugs. All I can suggest is not to log in for now until they switch EVERYONE over in a couple of months. Just click "other" and put your name in. I looked into switching us back, but I can't do it and I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Zanna said...

Oh yea and after I said click other and put your name in, I forgot to.

LadyJane said...

Don't worry Zanna, maybe it'll keep the trolls away.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I'm fine anononymous, how are you?

Anonymous said...

Good of you to ask anonymous I've been feeling rather anonymous lately, like I'm not sure who I really am.

Anonymous said...

I know exactly what you are talking about anonymous I have felt that way for months. I thought I was the only one who felt that way.

Anonymous said...

Hey? Don't forget about me anonymous and anonymous and anonymous. You guys are always leaving me out and I'm tired of it.

Anonymous said...

We're sorry anonymous, it's just that you're kinda slow and we really don't like you.

Anonymous said...

I don't like you anonymouses either. Suck my anonymous balls you anonymous buttmunchers. I'm leaving.

Anonymous said...

Wow. He sure is sensitive. Maybe you shouldn't have been so hard on him anonymous.

Anonymous said...

I do feel bad about it. I hope the little bugger gets over it and comes back.

Anonymous said...

So do I.

TrannyGranny said...

Well, at least we still have YOU A-mouse, and thank you for perseviring (I know it is spelled wrong, cope) while the new server works out the kinks in its system. I was going to send you a gift basket for struggling on in the comments section.....but, Ooopsy, I don't know who you are because you ARE TO FUCKING STUPID to follow the simple directions Zanna so helpfully typed out, to help our loyal readers thru this temporary comment abyss.
Allow me to re-spell it out: For now, If you want your name up, click the "other" button, then fill in the blanks. Can't link any sites right now, but feel free to copy and paste your site into the comments section until this is fixed.

Sorry everybody!

Still Tranny Granny said...

Look how easy it is!

Yup Tranny can put any fucking thing he want in here said...

DOH!

Anonymous said...

I got it already

anon said...

You don't have to be so harsh about it.

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