Sunday, August 20, 2006

Hot Meat on Meat Action

There is a reason The Onion is America's finest news source. That reason is diligent reporting. Zanna and I use it as our main source of current events coverage, and that is why we have so much information other people are unaware of.

Just last week, The Onion scooped Food Network! See, Z and I watch Food Network religiously for all the new food trends, we intend to stay on top of the corndog pile. While F.N. snoozed, The Onion reported that America's #2 condiment (behind ketchup) is now...

Meat.

F.N. didn't have diddly-squat to say about THAT, although Bobby Flay, that over-rated little bitch, is trying to make it look as if he knew about this trend years ago. Suck up to the meat-condiment hard enough, Flay, and the meat you are looking for will enter your little homo mouth.

Soooo, I went to "Right? Of Course Right! Meats" the kosher deli, intending to buy some bacon. They didn't have any, no sausage or pork loin either. In fact the Israeli born butcher, Ariel Caroll, spoke loudly thru his nose, and threw me out, kept yelling "kosher, kosher". What kind of meat market has pickles, but no bacon?

Zanna and I were planning on experimenting with bacon-wrapped jalapeno dogs, after watching some Rachel Ray. And doing it doggy style. (That idea revolutionized TV watching, thanks Bloodhound Gang). Ray's show isn't called "30 Minute Meals" for nothing!

Oh, the Onion also pointed out that Alice in Chains is playing a reunion show in Denver...Denver, pshaw, what kind of hillbillly actually lives in Colorado?

I digress. Occurred to me to ask; who did Alice find to play the Ouja board?

26 comments:

LadyJane said...

What crazy-ass crack are you smoking Tranny? And share some with me!!!!

I've always been fond of meat....
Hot Beef Injections, Weiners, Pink Tacos and the like...

cock-ninja cloned said...

mmmmmm!! Bacon-wrapped around anything.

pinky_nip said...

You know what's really hot? Fuck candle wax, and drip a little hot bacon grease on some "sensitive" areas for a steamin' good time. Hella ya!

cock-ninja said...

I've been cloned. This is getting more and more bizarre everytime I visit you crazy cats.

Loved the Helga story. There is something about bearded women that really excites me, (esp. the shorn snapperclamp), and you never said she was a dwarf to boot; It's like Dream World coming to life.

Pinky: Ummm... what sensitive areas do you have left?


uncloned and uncut,

ninj

smellypiratehooker said...

Bacon that sausage!

pinky_nip said...

cock-ninja: I have a LOT of sensitive places as I am a freak of nature, in the fact that all my skin is electronically wired to my clit.

Also, my feelings are very sensitive.

cock-ninja said...

So what you are saying is that your feelings are also electronically wired to your clit... I'm sorry if I offended you and hurt your clit.

ninj

cock-ninja said...

Pinky: Also, if I say nice things to parts of your body, like for example your butthole... like If I might perhaps exclaim "You are such an amazing and cute little pink starfish" are you saying you might have a 'Big O' right there, possibly in my face as I continue with such commentary niceties sparking your epidermal sensitivities? Wow what fun.

P.s.

Dear Pinky's Breast's,

You are unbelievably shaped and formed, firm and supple, rewarding to all human existence male and female who are blessed to experience such spherical perfection...

ninj

chillytatas said...

Mmmmmmm....meat!

Zanna said...

T, I can't believe you told them we fuck doggy during 30 minute meals! ;) Love ya!

Dragulf said...

Even my parent's will not watch Ray 'cook' because she is whacko.

Proof : http://community.livejournal.com/rachael_ray_sux/

Anonymous said...

OMG I love you guys. I'm glad you hate on Bobby Fag as much as I do. Not that there's anything wrong with that! However, I really hate Bobby Flay and Retchel Ray. Keep up the good work!

chillytatas said...

"Zanna said...
T, I can't believe you told them we fuck doggy during 30 minute meals! ;) Love ya! "

Rachel would say Yumm-O to that....sorry, had to say it.

Guess bitches......... said...

I like lips wrapped around my Italian Sausage, any takers? Women only please, Pinky?

Zanna said...

hmm...my guess is that "guess bitches..." is Stallion....

pinky_nip said...

I "guess" that I would wrap my lips around that sausage and be able to talk dirty at the same time...

Stallion said...

Wow Zanna, your good.............

Pinky, what do you mean you guess?
I might have to terminate our Iternet affairs now......*Sniff Sniff*

pinky_nip said...

Play on words my lover... you said your name was "guess"..

Don't *sniff* my stud, unless you're between my thighs, because if you do that, you'll be so enraptured that roses will never smell the same.

TrannyGranny said...

Stallion, Pinky, get a room!
With me in the corner!
And Stallion not in the room!
And me not in the Corner!
And Zanna helping out!

YAY!

cock-ninja said...

Tranny be nice to Pinky her clit has ears!

Zanna said...

Ninja..what part of what he said was NOT nice?????

cock-ninja said...

ummm... I think I swallowed a bug

TrannyGranny said...

Ninj, imagine if you will a clit with REAL ears!!!! I can't stop laughing.....Twat did you say, I cunt hear you!!!!!!

Dragulf said...

ROFL Tranny!

cock-ninja said...

Tranny: I cunt believe i didn't think of that! Damn.

chillytatas said...

omg Tranny, and my husband says that a lot. Too funny.