Thursday, July 27, 2006

Where is the Love....

Just found out a couple of other ways today to piss off Hannoush. You put a a nice bright red bumper sticker that says, "MY OTHER CAR IS A CAMEL" on his fucking "Habib Van". You know, those vans that are synonymous with terrorism? Yea, those. We call them Habib vans. And we think you should too.

T also rigged up Hannoush's "boom-box" (not to be confused with my twat, which is what T and I like to call it) to play one song over and over again. He can't change it, can't turn it down and can't shut it off. T is like fucking McGyver with this shit- it's AWESOME. Nothing like seeing a VERY angry Muslim listening to this song, trying to keep his composure while he sells his sno-cones. Noooo sir.

And by the way.. Hurricane Sylvia hasn't hit yet. Sorry this post is so short but I have to go look for her. And T is sending me to Home Depot to get some stuff because he is currently creating a MASTERPIECE.


Anonymous said...

Tranny: First off. You are right. I checked my dictionary it is 'concave' not convex. Thanks for correcting me. You know better than I do about your wimp-stick. And I can give a fuck about your 'typos' they are just easy lead-ins to the real insults, you fucking bag-of-suck... like your erectile dysfunction and love of Boone's. Do I have to spell everything out for you? I'm sorry you are bored. Perhaps if you go through your archives and read the past posts and past comments you won't be bored at all, I mean I sure wasn't bored going through your archives; talk about some gay ass shit. No, you won't be bored you'll just want to cut off an ear. Shake it up a bit. You got it. And yes you have much prettier prose than I do, and you smell prettier too. Fucking Dickhead Asshole.

Anonymous said...


LadyJane said...

Suck my ass? Do you mean the whole ass, or just the asshole? Personally, I am not sure how either act is physically possible. Although, perhaps you are extremely talented in ass-sucking, so maybe you could give us some pointers.

Love ladyjane.


pinky_nip said...

Hey Anonymous~

Quit knocking Boone's! If you saw me pick one up without using my hands, you'd be draining them by the minute!

Oh yea, and suck my kneecap, loser.

cock-ninja said...

Wow, since people are starting to take this stuff personally, i.e. Stallion. I think it's a good time to come clean.

First off: This was a publicity stunt set up by me in honor of the great TRANNY GRANNY. Probably one of the most creative and brilliant sons of bitches on the internet. It's hard to write that and not sound sarcastic, but I mean it, he knows how much I kiss his ass at the 'FISH'.

Janey: What a week you've had. Me too. It's been a blast. You have no idea how hard it was for me to be playing doctor with you and Bunny in 'Spanks' closet drinking Drambui and trying to explain to Bunny that a vibrator is not a flashlight, and then to rocket back over here to tear you a new asshole. It was heart-rending. But I hope you understand that it was for a good cause.

Pinky_nip: You have every right to spank the fuck out of me as long as you like. I can use some pink cheeks. I have never missed one of your comments at the 'Fish'. Many autoerotic fantasies including you and Osh and Cruising in many of my masturbation episodes. There is nothing I desire to do more than to be able to tongue your clit for an hour and 93 minutes while guzzling Boone's, listening to Tesla. XOXOXOX

Stallion: Sorry about your buddy. You know I have always had a place for you in my heart, and no your mom is not a Nag, nor would I ever spank her with a caddle prod. I've never even touched a caddle prod, and I happen to be Itallian myself. I think Jane knows that.

Krisdylee: Welcome back from your vay cay. we've all missed you at the 'Fish'. Also a favorite of mine.

Tranny and Zanna: Hugs and kisses. I think I pulled it off. The publicity stunt. Even though I will probably be hated by all, that's o.k though because your last post about the camel bumper sticker made my entire week.... I literally almost pissed my pants. All your stuff is brilliant, some serious pelvic floor dysfunction inducing rhetoric. I also think the beard is sexy, and if it makes you feel any better you can stick my head in boiling corn dog grease.

That is it. The cat is out of the bag.

I just got so sick of all the trolls fucking with me at the 'Fish' I felt like coming over here, because in truth you are all my favorite bloggers, like anywhere, and if we were all at a party somewhere it would be a chaotic nightmare, kind of how this week has been for me, chaotic but incredibly interesting.

Love Ya all.

Cock-ninja, a.k.a Hopeless Screen-writer, a.k.a Hannoush (The camel fucking Arab)


I love you all and you know it!!!!

Janey, I tried to give you the heads up at spank's site. WOOT WOOT
You should only be temporarily freaked, who doesn't love a good ruse :)

*****Ducks out of way of Flying Corndogs*****

cock-ninja said...


jane's eyre said...

I'm so confused.

*runs crying to Cheeks' closet, locks door*

pinky_nip said...

Damn you Hopeless, I'll have to fuck you with your uncle's dick, bitch.

Anyway, I love a good ruse and anyone who masterbates to my words, is #1 in my little black book.

Oh yeah, and suck my attached clit!

ApacheRose said...

Thank God. That's what I was hoping all this was about. *whew*

Hopeless, I haven't been posting much over at the 'Fish, but I was a regular for a while until the trolls stole my original nick and it just got too fucking annoying. I still read the 'Fish most days, and I have to say, you're one of my faves.

Now trying to decide whether to whip you or kiss you. Or both.

Tranny, I'm gonna steal you from Zanna for a night, you bearded fucking genius. Or maybe she'll share...

Italian "Fuck up a good time" Stallion said...

"I'm sorry I broke up your Black Panther Party".......Gump

I was just talking to pinky trying to figure out who you were because of your usage of Superficial words (fuckwad) but didn't guess Hopeless. I guess I shouldn't have brought all that up in an Internet fight but I had just found out and was really pissed at every Camel Fucker and figured if you really were one you would shut the fuck up after reading that or get me even madder and some good jokes would come out of it. I kind of neede a smile at the moment and some of the comments def. do that for me lately. Leave it to Stallion to ruin everyone's fun, fuck, my bad everyone.

*galloping off to the glue factory*

cock-ninja said...

It's o.k. Stallion I couldn't have kept it up much longer, I don't remember laughing so hard, but like 'Uncle Rob' it would have gotten old if it wasn't all ready. Tranny seems to have a good sense for timing, and knowing when something needs to stop, that and the fact that he has pretty tremendous penis; in fact, I think he invented the foot-long corndog, or maybe he was just the mold for it, one of the two. Anyone packing that much meat knows when something needs to stop. This is one tough group to keep interested for any period of time. The friend tragedy was just a catalyst for the inevitable. No need to go to the glue factory.

Tranny, keep it up.



Gotta go find Janey and talk her out of 'Spanks' closet.

Zanna said...

Oh cock-ninja why did you let the masturbating cat out of the bag? LOL..Me and T were confused at first and then figured out it was someone playing along, which was a fucking blast to have Hannoush posting - we loved it.

Maybe it's time to start incorporating you guys into the stories. I think I have visions of somebody putting on a corndog suit and peddling dogs in front of the stand. Maybe an altercation with Jimmy and Stallion at Bunghole Liquors...who knows...the possibilties are endless!!!!

Zanna said...

Never I know why you let the cat out of the bag..(just read the other post). Good call.

Italian Stallion said...

So, I was walking into bunghole liquors and to my surprise I see Jay and Silent Bob trying to sell vibrating condoms. Being that I am still a virgin and have never even seen a condom, I went over to check it out. Silent Bob just stood there smiling and Jay was pinching his nipples telling me how great these condoms were for the ladies. I proceeded to tell them I was a virgin and wouldn't know what to do. Now all of asudden I'm being harassed by two fucking idiots telling me if I was indian they would name me "Neversawapussy". Next thing you know Silent Bob is sitting on me so I can't move and all I hear is Jay saying "I got something for this virgin" "I just had a cup of tea and I saved the Teabag just for you, you fucking virgin" As he attempts to dip his balls in my mouth, out of no where comes this mysterious bearded fellow to save the day. Next thing I know, Jay is bleeding all over the place from a drop kick to the face. The mysterious bearded fellow than proceeds to head towards Silent Bob. I couldn't see what was going on because TrannyGranny, ooopps, I mean the mysterious bearded fellow had his cape blocking my view. All I know is it was the first time I heard Silent Bob not being silent. All I remember hearing is "Holy shit is that a corn dog, followed by muffled screaming. When I woke up the mysterious bearded fellow was sitting next to me getting a lap dance. He handed me 500 dollars and said find one you like and she'll take you to the Champagne room. I'm not a virgin anymore but when I came out the mysterious bearded fellow had disapeared into the night.

thank you mysterious bearded fellow, thank you.........

P.S. There is no sex in the champagne room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I suck at trying to be funny like you guys but it was a nice attempt, I guess. Just trying to keep shit off my mind, and I'm really sorry for fucking up the fun earlier............

cock-ninja said...

Apache: Any friend of Tranny and zanna is a friend of mine, I think what I meant was at one time or other Tranny, pinky, janey, stallion et al. engaged in some give in take with me before, I can't tell you how many times Tranny ass-raped me and left me in a field for dead, just to come back later and do it all over again. If you would have ass-raped me like Tranny than I would have let you do it to me again here. I don't know if that makes any sense or not.

However, I think Janey would have pushed you out of the way, she was like a woman scorned the way she came after me. Dang, she can be a feisty little kitty. Hope the Jeckyll and Hyde mindfuck hasn't scarred her for life. Hi dollface :) Smooooooch.

If you were harassed by trolls that means you were more than likely pretty cool. It seems that their primary motive is envy.

Anyway, nothing personal you just got in kinda late and I was feeling the end was near. Thanks for the comp.

and oh yeah... uh one more thing... Suck my ass!!!!

Hearts and Flowers,


Zanna said...

I just got off the phone with T and we were talking about the posts and kicking around some ideas..and let me tell you Stallion that wasn't half made me laugh out loud so I think you shall be making an appearance soon. Keep your chin up, buddy.

Dragulf said...

What's that? It was the word smith Cock-Ninja? Pfft! Now who can I tell stories about losing his balls in some boy's ass? Ya bastard!

pinky_nip said...

You guys are all so fabulous.. *group hug*... oh! wait a sec, Stallion what are pushing against me? No, I didn't say "stop"... um, let me rotate a bit.

I *heart* group hugs.

cock-ninja said...

Love the story Stallion. However, if I had a liquor store it would be called. Beaver Liquors. mmmm. Beaver, or Pinky Liquors mmmm Pinky.

Shut the fuck up about spoiling the fun, what you said to me had no effect on what I did or how I feel.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to try to catch a late night mass somewhere and light a candle for the world.


italian sausage, i mean stallion said...

Zanna said something about bunghole liquors, don't ask me........Not another word about the other shit. I'm out for the day too, I'm already an hour late for Happy Hour........thats a good

Zanna said...

It's a real place..

LadyJane said...

seriously, I'd fucking LOVE it if we could all get together... I'll bring the BC bud... and I'm NOT talking about my clit this time either. (Although Clitty-clitty Bang-bang will be up for a good time)

Zanna said...

Wait a minute...if Stallion was an hour late for Happy Hour...doesn't that mean he missed it?

LadyJane said...

It's ALWAYS Happy Hour at my place... cuz, you know, it's noon somewhere in the world... right?

Tranny said...

Beaver Liquor is a REAL liquor store at a ski resort in Colorado, believe it or not.

Sounds like everyone is ok with everyone, so I ain't sayin' shit. Plus my hangover is such that I can barely chug this coffee I am drinking.

LadyJane, we should ALL get together sometime, maybe at Vegas for a killer weekend of jokes and hot-oil rubdowns. I've seen pics of most of us, and we'd be the best looking thing that happened to anywhere in a LONG time!

tarjamarja said...

Ah, the writing on the car brings back fond memories. We used to write stuff on the dirt in our cars all the time. Like "just washed" or "stolen" or "help, we're kidnapped". Good times. :)