Tuesday, July 11, 2006

E=MC Hammer

Ok, it has been a crazy few days, Zanna and I have been busy correcting a few glaring errors in Mr. Einsteins Theory of Relativity. As Z posted previously I was beginning to have my doubts about the accuracy of E=MC squared, while preparing an entry for the annual Corndog Festival.

Ok, a quick aside about our entry....it is gonna win this year. Our entry is a brilliant effigy of hope, humanity, soul and submerged penii. Zanna, being the soft touch that she is, convinced me that we should make a statement about Americana's hopes and dreams this year, and after a merciless hot-oil debate, I agreed. Her silver tongue just slipped the debate in her favor. She is such an idealist, always volunteering with children and others. Why, just last week, she taught an entire boy scout troop to squirt milk from their noses! Without sneezing!

Anyhoo.......

For those of you not familiar with Einstein's most noted work, allow me to give a glimpse into how it is used to make corndogs. Mass of the weiner coupled with Cornmeal batter Squared is equal to the Eatability of the completed corndog. Brilliant in its simplicity. Until I experimented with merely doubling the cornmeal batter. The result is sheer genius, if I do say so myself. And I do. Roughly .41766% less batter is used, creating a 58.234% meatier taste, while at the same time saving product AND making the corndog even more delicious! And you didn't think that was possible. How many times have you bit into a sub-standard corndog at a second rate fair and thought "Where is the delicious wiener flavor, I didn't order cornbread?" Not from Corndog Trailer, not EVER! Nothing but delectible wiener with the precise amount of fluffy coating, served on the most wonderful invention, a stick. For our discerning customers, nothing but the best.

So, in essence "Einstein", perhaps you should look into E=MC(2). You are using way to much cornmeal to make those friggin bombs.

Boy, all this thinking has made me want to go have a 40 with Z on the Pinto, and maybe look into differences in the Coefficient of Gravity and it's effects on the overall corndog cooking process.

And maybe boogy to some "U Can't Touch This" in honor of helping physicists worldwide in their work. Cause, Mr. Einstein, wherever you are, you can't touch my newly improved and diligently battered weiner!

10 comments:

LadyJane said...

Ah, yes, I understand. And less mess when it comes to naughty bedroom games, involving a video camera, hand-cuffs, 5 corndogs and a HUGE bucket of mustard. Oh, and the plastic sheet and plenty o' maple syrup....

You'd be surprised.

Good times.

pinky_nip said...

I love you two so much! And my tummy is growling for lucious corndoggy taste!

LadyJane said...

bend over bitch, and I'll serve you up some luscious corn-doggy taste of me.

Anonymous said...

14. Posted by Zanna on July 12, 2006 10:16 PM

It MIGHT be the alcohol....but I think she's looking more natural, playful and cute as ever and I'd go down on her right aboouuuuut now..READDDDY....GO!

15. Posted by Zanna on July 12, 2006 10:17 PM

Wait a minute....I may have to take that back...her scarf is strategically placed across her belly in these pics and I DON'T DO FAT CHICS.


From:

http://www.thesuperficial.com/2006/07/12/jessica_simpson_has_a_birthday.html#comment

Zanna said...

Yea, and what's your point?

LadyJane said...

Suck it up and reveal who you are, anonymous... Zanna gives great face. Are you secretly playing out that fantasy in your mind while some fat guy plows you? Fess up.

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